This is the story about the moment I finally realized it was time to quit my full-time job to pursue creativity + blogging. If you are looking to make a creative change in your life, read on to get some insight into my experience.
Beepbeepbeep. Beep. beep. beep. BEEP, BEEP, BEEP!!!!! The sound echoes louder until my brain drags my ears awake and I realize that that incessant noise means it’s 6:30am. Rubbing the sleep from my eyes, my alarm continues to yell until Siri gives me a virtual eye roll as I fumble to graze the snooze button.
I get out of bed 15 minutes late and end up running around the apartment like a 4 year old on her birthday, shoes flying, a glob of toothpaste slipping off the brush onto my new cashmere sweater. Hair half dry and a rushed mascara job that makes me look more Gene Simmons, less Gigi Hadid. I stand on the train platform and dream about the grande extra hot coconut milk half sweet hazelnut latte I’m going to order on my commute because yes, I am #basic like that.
As I sardined myself into the crowded train cabin, my shoes sticking to the remnants of spilt leftover orange soda, I felt an intuitive tension creep into my shoulders, the one you get when your subconscious is telling you to be alert before you even register a potential threat.
A man had entered the train and began a belligerent tirade, spewing threats loud enough to grab the attention of all the commuters stuffed into the cabin. I could feel my fight or flight triggers firing on all cylinders, and I looked around to see the site of the commotion. After realizing that it was just a testosterone fuelled high school kid in a schoolyard argument, I calmed my jagged nerves.
As my mind wandered, I began thinking, what if this had turned out differently? What if my life had been in danger? And then I asked myself one of the most vulnerable questions you can ask yourself: If I were to die today, would I be happy with the life I have chosen to live for myself? Am I honouring + respecting my true self by following the path that was meant for me to wander down?
It was then, with a overwhelming sense of urgency, that I realized I needed to make a change. I wanted to start living the creative life I imagined for myself, the life I was too consumed by fear to even think about pursuing.
To do this, I started asking more important questions. How did I get here? What fork in the road did I mistakenly take that allowed my passion and the desire for an unconventional, innovative lifestyle to get so far away? Where did my childhood curiosity all of a sudden veer off into this adult functionality where responsibility and acquisitiveness meant more than creativity?
After some serious soul searching (shout out to my family, friends & alll those bottles of wine that comforted me through this process), I left my full-time job behind to pursue my passion of writing, photography, travel, + inspiration, and decided to start with a blog that encompasses all four.
I’m so excited to get started. To discover, learn, leap, fail, succeed, and all that comes in-between. I’m still riddled with fear, but I think this is common for a lot of creative types that are worried about abandoning a life of certainty to wade in the waters of the unknown.
If you’re reading this and thinking of making a change in life (career, relationships or otherwise), here are a few questions that helped me find clarity + courage:
Questions to ask yourself if you want to pursue creativity in your career..
1) Find your purpose: What would you be doing if you didn’t have a 40+ hour work week consuming most of your energy & time? What things would you gravitate toward?
2) Find the motivation: Picture your current job, & now picture yourself at 60 years old at your retirement party at that workplace. How does this image make you feel? Are you proud? Do you feel a sense of regret for not pursuing something else, or at least trying?
3) Remove the fear: If your time on earth were to be cut short, would you be happy + proud of the life you have chosen to live for yourself?
To read about the backstory of my creative journey, click here.
Here’s to chasing dreams & living a life you’ve always envisioned for yourself!